Last Cigarette

sneaking,

secretively seeking

snorting lines.

keeping mints

keeping it lit

drying out lips

charring within.

a habit too lit to unlit.

too delusional to give a shit.

once, twice, moderation, frequently, openly

timeline of a lifetime

gone in a blink of an eye.

reaching out for a cigarette

after 5 am sex.

can’t fall to bed

without fueling the fire.

smoked up till the very last puff.

choked on it and called it cough.

realized, how the hands couldn’t stop

even when there is no intention to touch.

Thought there was power over it,

thought it was the choice that could be easily undone.

who would have known

it would become a habit

when there was no intention to keep one.

an unwanted habit,

giving adrenaline rush at first,

then the choke of guilt build up.

Knew it was the last cigarette,

31st last cigarette of the month.


 

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