learnings from a 4 am sob

Not often do you wake up from a perfectly normal sleep, reaching for the bathroom door half-asleep, only to get back in the bed to find yourself aloof and in tears. the sleepy eyes from before lay wide awake and even after mindlessly staring at the celling, find no signs of peaceful slumber only silent tears.

why? why the tears?

all that played itself in the mind was a happy memory of a book recently read. nothing sad - everything about it was happy, light-hearted, and nostaligic.


I demanded answers from within.

after a session of silent sighs, wetting a portion of my pillow cover, and feeling considerably done with it all, I felt an urge to open my Google Keep and write - this is what came out.

my learnings from a 4:00 am sob

🌻(Take more actions for the soul, live more!) 🌻 Thoughts will find their way to add meaning or not but actions that embrace the inner voice and rejoice the inner child are fuel to the soul. And so so very important to actually live and feel the intensity of living at its true capacity. Inaction and what-ifs make you sicker than the wounds and cuts of an action performed with all the heart. Give your soul this solace, do not sit around, and do what your heart desires. Live for however short or long you do live.
LIVE! screams the soul – you have thought enough.

🌼let words and thoughts and actions work in a balance. Love – as fiercely as you want. Live! Don’t die warming a chair with wishful thinking and plain blatant mediocrity. be perfectly average – but by the will, not in the unknowingness of it. do not let familiarity sit and brew for so long and let momentary safety (or ease) run in the background to guide everything else.

🌺 enjoy a bit of everything. live fiercely, and love with grace. love with all your heart. love and live. this life has a lot to teach. let those learnings in – when they are needed, let them also slide, when required. not everything is meant to be the same. not everything is meant to stay. growth can look different at 12, 22, 32, and 40, but a growing heart, not so much.

🌻 you are here to love and be loved. let that love seep in, let that love flow, and you’ll find your tribe, you’ll find love. if not added in numbers, then added by will and its true essence and intensity. you are loved, let that love sink in.

🌷 sound more laughter, the tears are always easy to come, easy to wipe. but the sheer crackle of an unapologetic laugh echoes the mind with happiness. learn to laugh at your problems, it’s easier this way. the issues often tend to laugh at us, don’t give them the satisfaction – meet them with a joke of your own. laugh at their mere existence.

🌼 take things seriously, and then not. take people seriously, but not all. words are words – they hold value, only if you want them to. remember, today is your ally, change – your bitch. don’t fight it, tame it, play with it, and get better.

🌺 forget or not, but forgive and let go. Life is harder to live with the weight of yesterday’s sorrows. live with the heart for today – there will be many things that you might have to learn to let go of – and it’ll do more for you than carrying them along. life is full of so many different possibilities, it’s unfair to define yourself with the experiences of only a few of them.

🌼 lastly, ask for help, the world is huge and equally hollow sometimes. but ‘asking’ is still an action on our part. secondly, not all help is answered, but not all are in vain. you learn to eventually help yourself. others can only do so much for you, you can do more – push that boundary. and be of help if you ever have the privilege to hold that position. but don’t beat yourself up to it, don’t beat yourself up to anything but an honest thought and action – true to living. 🌷


(it's truly surreal to bleed words out of what's been unknowingly brewing inside.)

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